In this post, I’ll explore the flip-side of this idea: how sometimes, the truest inspiration we have comes from the recognition and willingness to simply do what’s necessary. It involves, first seeing that we even have a choice (if in fact we do). Then it involves having the courage to actually change our ways in order to produce the result we want.

Most of us are familiar with the “Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr:

    God grant me the serenity
    To accept the things I cannot change;
    Courage to change the things I can;
    And wisdom to know the difference.

What holds the dynamic tension between acceptance and change is what Niebuhr calls wisdom; and I contend that wisdom is the natural byproduct of awareness itself.

Awareness is more than simply having knowledge or information about something. Awareness involves seeing the deepest truth inherent in a pattern of choice or behavior. How? By following the pattern forward (or backward) in time. Let me explain.

Everything we do is a cause set in motion. Making a decision is a cause set in motion. Not making a decision is a cause set in motion. Each cause gets stacked upon the ones previously until together, they form an overall direction. And if you follow any direction forward in time, it leads to an ultimate destination.¹

The question then becomes, are we going in the direction we want? Or are we coasting through life, delaying the action we need to take because we fear it will be too painful or disturbing to do so? Has it become it easier to sit back, believing an easier way through all our problems will suddenly announce itself soon? Or do we half expect things to get worse, believing ourselves to be victims, or perhaps even a martyrs in life.

Regardless of our reasons for resisting change at this point in life, whenever we find ourselves accepting what we actually could change if we really wanted to, it’s usually because we lack courage. And we lack courage mostly because we are ignorant of the power we really have, deep down.

So awareness is key, and I suspect it is what has motivated you study up on self improvement and awareness methods and to even read this blog in the first place. Deep down, you know that denying the reality of what-is will never change it. What’s more, refusing to look and see what’s really going on by “affirming” a reality more to your liking will never work. We must pursue our dreams both creatively and strategically which means we either choose true to our inspiration or get inspired about doing what must be done. And truth be told, nothing inspires like necessity.

In either case,  whether it be initiating change, or surrendering to its necessity, living true to our potential takes heart: somethng I define as “the passion to care deeply about the truth.” Heart involves dropping our stubborn commitment to change things we really have no power over in the first place–things like: the fact that we are getting older; other people’s behavior; the stock market; the weather; even our mother-in-law! The list of grievances we have with reality can indeed be endless, but until we accept the reality of what-is, here and now, we are powerless to change it, because, simply put, we are fighting the very reality we need to work with.

In the next blog, I’ll apply these ideas more specifically to a coaching process I use called Strategic Envisioning. Stay tuned.

1. Anthony Robbins: Personal Power Classic Edition: “The Four Elements of Destiny.”

Do only what you are inspired to do!

If that sounds a bit hedonistic to you, then chances are you view inspiration and desire with certain degree of suspicion. So for you, I’ll amend the phrase a tad:

Do only what you are inspired to do, or find the inspiration to do what’s necessary.

Either way, the key is in seeing the truth of necessity, while refusing to live out of obligation.

A Personal Story:

A few years back, as I was first learning to roller-blade, I remember coming to a fork in the road. On one side, the path was freshly paved, with nice bends and a slight downhill decent. The other side was a mess: uphill, bumpy and littered with debris that I suppose you could make your way around, but it would take some effort.

The crazy thing was, I actually remember thinking how I ought to choose the bumpy path! With a near perfect trail just begging to be enjoyed, there I was actually debating my options. I argued that since I was new to inline skating I should take the bumpy path because sooner or later I’d need to learn how to manage my way through less than ideal skating conditions. And besides, taking easy, inspiring routes all the time would be kind of like cheating.

Then it hit me: If I did choose the bumpy path, I might very well learn the ins and outs about roller-blading over frustrating ground, but I would resent it, because all along I’d know I could have chosen better for myself.

If, on the other hand, I let my heart decide, and simply chose the path that most inspired me, I’d not only experience the joy of a really great ride, but if and when the path did get bumpy, I’d instantly be enrolled in the appropriate real-time course called “roller blading over bumpy terrain”. In other words, I’d deal with it.

So I “chose true“, as I like to put it. I did what I was inspired to do, and consequently, enjoyed one of the best roller-blading experiences of my life. What’s more, this distinction really rocked my life. I started to see just how often I had chosen less than optimal routes routes in life, not because I wanted to, but because I felt I had to. For me, it was based on a story I was telling myself about how I needed to learn more ABOUT roller-blading– subjecting myself to all kinds of tests to prove something– before I could just relax and experience the joy or challenge of a good skate.

So what is it for you? What do you really want to experience or do right now that you are putting off doing because you think you are not quite ready? How have you convinced yourself that you cannot yet do what you really want to do?

I’m not knocking the value of preparation, or the development of essential skills or anything. I’m merely suggesting that the more we postpone taking action on our dreams the more complicated it becomes to meet them.

In short, when we forgo doing what we really desire in order to better prepare for the same opportunity some time in the future, we sink ourselves. And most of us do this, over and over again without even knowing it! We complicate our desires just enough to keep ourselves from meeting them. Why? Because the pattern keeps us busy, always preparing, never doing, which is how it also keeps us feeling safe. Simply put, we lack the confidence or the guts to live our lives as as deeply as we long for.

You don’t want to get stuck here: waiting for conditions to be perfect before you follow your heart’s calling. Because chances are conditions in life will never be perfect. Or worse! They already are perfect, and you’re defying the best opportunity you will ever have!

If you’re one of those who claim to lack inspiration but long for something MORE in your life, then stay tuned. In the next blog I’ll write more about the truth of necessity that should help clear a path to your desires in one way or another.

“mirador access”: the capacity to examine and strategize our life situation from the clearest and most comprehensive perspective possible.

Here, I will try to unpack this metaphor a little more, while addressing the obvious question of how such a perspective can be achieved through coaching and/or personal practice.

In the simplest terms, the idea of obtaining a broader view of our situation involves agreeing to step back and look things more objectively. But here, the use of the word “objective” may require further examination. Because if our agreement to be more “objective” leads us to conclude that our so-called “subjective” experience is of little or no consequence, then we would effectively be alienating ourselves from the only real power we ever have: our ability to experience life first hand, for ourselves.

All of us have a kind of “true north” inside of us– a deep sense of what’s important and meaningful to us here and now– and it is precisely this felt sense of knowing, (apart from the mental meanings we later assign to the experience) that is activated in any true empowerment process. Not only do we begin by getting in touch with ourselves in this way, but our doing so actually leads the entire process of skillfully initiating and dealing with change in our lives.

So where do we begin? Well, as I like to say, we first need to get real by getting clear about what is it that we really want, and what it’s going to take to achieve it.

If you’re the type who regularly reads self improvement blogs or would consider hiring a personal coach, you probably already know what it is you wish to achieve and are actively pursuing it, at least to a some degree. But if you find yourself at all unsure, or perhaps even a bit intimidated by the prospects of giving the idea any careful thought, then it’s crucial we start here. So ask yourself: 

What is really going on in my life right now?
What’s great and what’s not so great?
How happy or fulfilled am I over all?
What am I serious about changing?
How committed am I to initiating this change?

By agreeing to have a thorough and honest look at things, you enlist the creative freedom to explore your “subjective” experience but through the expanded awareness of your agreement to explore it in as many different ways as possible — from as many different vantage points, through as many different lens, and in as many different contexts as we can. To the extent that you are clear about what’s working and what’s is not working, the more committed you can be to making the changes necessary to change it.

It’s perhaps helpful here, to note that acquiring “mirador access” does not require that you seek outside advice from others. Although this is fine and often quite helpful, with strategic envisioning, it is always you who does the looking and the seeing. What you see, therefore, remains very personal to you. But it represents a more considered, and thus, richer perspective than you may have accessed previously.

So how is all of this done or achieved?

With my coaching clients, I first them evaluate their level of personal satisfaction in 6 to 8 key areas, using a scale of 0 to 10. (Zero being totally shut down or depressed, and 10 being entirely blissed out, or something like that.)

The actual categories can be somewhat customized, but certain, essential ones must be included in order for a truly comprehensive picture to be represented. Just by agreeing to examine our lives in this way, and see how one area may be growing and giving us lots of satisfaction, whereas another may feel so lousy we don’t even want to look at it. And unfortunately, this is exactly what most of us do.

It’s quite common, for instance, for people to initiate change only in areas where they wield a certain mastery, leaving other areas to be more or less neglected. An example might be your typical business man whose professional success has long compensated for the failures in his personal life. During a relationship crisis, he may even turn to coaching to “up the ante” in his career, not fully acknowledging the many ways in which this contributes to his shutting down and withdrawing from intimate relationships. By focusing on what he has typically found he can control– his business, he convinces himself he’s making progress in life. But doing so only further alienates him from his intimate partner, keeping him feeling powerless and resigned to see relationships as an ongoing source of pain and frustration.

For some people, examining our lives this comprehensively is an illuminating, straightforward process. For others, it can introduce anxiety, because oftentimes, the changes that are most necessary require that we take advantage of and optimize, the very resources we routinely neglect or dismiss altogether. Which is why professional coaching can be so effective. Sometimes, just thinking out loud can help, but to the extent that we can be guided by another to think beyond our current patterns, our ability to ability to initiate lasting change improves dramatically!

And so does the relative skillfulness of our doing so! Seldom do we see all the connections ourselves, but with an open mind and a willingness to look with a discipline and inspired focus, life truly opens up for us. And to the extent that we act on what we see and feel, we discover the real power of the vision we are given.

So let’s get real, by getting clear, committed and most of all, going!

Let me begin by referring to the “spiral” image, presented here, to the right, and similar to the one I’ve chosen for my business signature. Both photos capture the view of looking up a spiral staircase in a lighthouse.

While there are several, somewhat mystical reasons why the images of spirals appeal to me, here, the image is deliberate and quite literal, and tied to that famous saying by Einstein which goes something like:

“We can’t solve a problem by using the same level of thinking that created it.”

Quite simply, we need to exceed the limits of our present “view” or understanding of life in order to navigate a more effective way around its challenges. So, metaphorically speaking, if our life is a journey across some unknown territory, when we’re viewing things from ground level, our sight-line is naturally going to be obstructed by whatever happens to lie in our way. But from high atop the observation tower of a lighthouse, the view is comparatively clear. In fact, it can, at first, be quite breath-taking!

Suddenly, things that used to confuse or block our view now appear less troubling. It’s not as though all our obstacles disappear, but with a bit of distance, it’s now possible to strategize our way around them.

What’s more, by examining the big picture of our lives more systematically– by looking in all directions, not merely the ones in which we are accustomed to looking– we suddenly have access to resources and support we might otherwise overlook! Too often, the very resources we need to solve a problem in one area of our lives are found elsewhere, usually in areas we tend neglect, especially when we’re busy focusing on all our “problems.”

So, imagine you’ve been struggling for years to find a way across a particularly rocky territory in your life, and suddenly, the rocks before you are simply too steep and jagged to climb. From ground level, moving forward now might seem entirely hopeless, but just the simplest, aerial view of the territory can change everything. Sometimes, there’s not only one route through a dilemma but several, and it’s usually just a matter of choosing which option is best.

Even when our options are, in fact, quite limited, just seeing one possible solution can make a world of difference, especially to our willingness to try. The operative word here, however, is knowing. For it’s not enough that we are simply told by someone else that the trek is possible. Encouragement can help, but it’s dreadfully easy to dismiss any idea that we haven’t yet experienced to be true for ourselves. In short, any real confidence we are after must be experienced first hand.

So, even if someone were to tell you that the only way around all these rocks is by water, you might be tempted to give up, especially if there wasn’t a boat close by. But had you examined your options carefully before setting out on your trek, not only would you have seen how a boat might be necessary, but lo and behold, you would have see one lying along a stretch of beach you seldom visit. So you see, just by agreeing to step back and examine your options in all directions, not only are your decisions likely to be more strategic, but you will have the confidence to execute them, which is what strategic envisioning is all about.

This might all sound a bit simplistic, and in many ways it is; but as a practice, its simplicity is actually its power. Because as suggested earlier, the more we try a solve a problem using the same methods we’ve always used, looking at things in the same way, with the same resources at our disposal, the more the solution we are after seems forever beyond our control. But if we strategize from a position of expanded awareness, we will have access to a confidence and clarity that is trustable in a new way, for it comes from our own direct experience.

This is freedom: the basic goal of all personal development, but also the starting point for the practical work we must do in order to actualize its true gifts relative to our lives. Which is where the “strategy” part comes in. For if creativity is the freedom to break pattern in life and expand our limits, then strategy is the power to actually do so, by making new decisions, based on a broader, richer view of our potential.

This discussion continues. Stay tuned.

~Katie

The first of anything is usually the hardest, a truth I’m newly exploring as I sit down to write my first blog for my this new website.

I chose a blog-centered website mostly to force a writing practice upon myself. And I admit that along with the thrill of upgrading my personal interest in writing to that of a discipline, comes a weird kind of intimidation. I suspect that I share this feeling with just about anyone who feels resolved to make a change for themselves or set out to accomplish something new. For it seems that as soon as we commit ourselves to doing something different, we step in to a kind of pressure zone. Suddenly, following through with a certain behavior isn’t simply desirable for us, it’s necessary, which is great for pushing us to complete certain tasks, but it also points to why so many of us tend to avoid setting, let alone meeting, higher standards for ourselves: We hate pressure, yet without it, we cannot survive.

So, with this in mind, this blog is dedicated to exploring and celebrating creativity, along with the pressure that so often accompanies it. My hope is that by helping readers become more conscious of the creative process within themselves they can better manage it as a resource in their lives. Too often, we throw creativity out there as if it were some kind of random gift outside of our control. And frankly, I’d like to challenge that notion, not to dispel its mystery, but rather, to reclaim more of its power for strategic purposes.

To me, creativity is our freedom– the freedom to break a pattern and actually choose do something new or in a different way. The more conscious we are of this freedom, the more successfully we can pursue and attain goals that are important to us, something I feel, is both the power and privilege of our being alive and human. It’s also something I’ve been passionate about, and, not surprisingly, a little intimidated by, all my life.

For many years now, it has been my expressed mission to help cultivate creativity by identifying, nurturing and celebrating its use in all areas of human endeavor. In fact I call myself a creative “ally” not only because I choose to align myself with creative people, but with the process of creativity itself. Simply put, I believe that the more attention we pay to creativity, the more creative we will become, and by consequence, the more powerful and free we will feel as human beings. So you can count on this blog to shine a continued spotlight on the efforts and insights of creativity throughout a broad range of human interests.

So welcome! Please feel free to email me privately with any questions or comments you may have.

We’ll begin by exploring what it means to have what I call “mirador” access. I hope you will join me.

~Katie